The relationship between a client and therapist is a special dynamic that requires the right fit for progress to move forward. When that dynamic is found, the result can be very rewarding, but unfortunately many have experienced quite the nightmare at very vulnerable times. Therapists all have their own style along with their unique training, specialty and life experiences. Consequently, finding the right therapist is no easy task. Below are some points I feel every person looking for the perfect-fit therapist needs to consider before exposing their wallet or heart to anyone.
Comfort
First and foremost, you should feel comfortable with this person, after all, you will be sharing very private information about yourself and your experiences. While a therapist is not supposed to be your friend, if you don’t particularly like the person, it isn’t likely that you will feel safe enough to be vulnerable- the space where healing happens. Listen to your intuition and do your research. Using recommendations from friends or calling a therapist before you meet is a good start. If that’s not available, a therapist is likely to have some basic information about themselves online or in a brochure that you can access.
Knowledgeable
It sounds silly to mention, but your therapist should have some working knowledge with the issues you are wanting help with. As a counselor who works with kids and parents, I am able to speak clearly about my training and background in working with children and families. I can define what issues I work with and what issues I need to refer you to a therapist better qualified. A therapist who has a niche of expertise will come with many more resources for those particular issues, so consider your needs and what you are looking for. Feel comfortable to ask your counselor what modality of therapy they generally use and what that may look like.
Honest
Trust is an essential ingredient in any healthy relationship. There is no grey here- your therapist should be honest! An honest therapist will be upfront about their licence and training, fees, session times, practice policies, limits to confidentiality and your rights as a client. They will also be honest to you for your growth- remember, even though it may feel comfortable, your therapist is not a paid friend! You hire them to help you with a specific area of your life. Your therapist should be upfront about your goals in counseling, your treatment plan and a good therapist will know when to ‘push’ a bit to help you toward those goals. A therapist’s job is to nudge therapy toward progress, even if that means some discomfort along the way.
Realistic
Time and money is involved in therapy and you must be realistic with what you can give and what you are looking to get. Ask your counselor what times they have available, their session cost, predicted length of treatment and if they take insurance. Be sure to follow up on your own with your insurance company so that there are no surprises on your end. Many therapists do not take insurance and there is good reason. Educate yourself and determine if insurance or out-of-pocket is the best choice for you. Be realistic. Your willingness, presence and effort in counseling will greatly impact your outcome. This is a big investment and being realistic will help progress and stave off disappointment.
The therapist-client relationship is a special one that I am honored to be part of. I consider my work a great gift as I serve as a temporary guide during a needed time. A great fit is a wonderful experience and empowered with knowledge, I wish you all the best as you find that ‘right fit’ therapist for you.
